Understanding Trauma

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Cannabis isn’t a gateway drug.

Alcohol isn’t a gateway drug.

Nicotine isn’t a gateway drug.

Caffeine isn’t a gateway drug.

Trauma is the gateway. Childhood abuse is the gateway.

Molestation is the gateway. Neglect is the gateway.

Drug abuse, violent behaviour, hyper-sexuality and self-harm are often the symptoms (not the cause) of much bigger issues. And it often stems from a childhood filled with trauma, absent parents, and an abusive family.

But most people are too busy laughing at the homeless and drug addicts to realise that your own children could be in their shoes in 15 years.

-Russell Brand

I’ve seen this quote many times over the years and I love it. I love that he’s so on point and that he, as someone who has struggled with addictions, is comfortable enough to talk about trauma in this way. Trauma is a fascinating topic to me. It is a topic that I found a little daunting at first – it’s heavy and there can be darkness in some people’s stories. The way I look at it now is that it is only through healing our traumas that we can unlock our true selves and start living from a more authentic place.

By viewing addiction and substance abuse as a trauma response we can more easily see the impacts that trauma and our beliefs hold in our lives and experiences. It also lends compassion to those struggling to combat the grip of addiction. When we look at some common challenges and concerns in our communities, it doesn’t take much to begin to see the far reaches of trauma and its embedded results when left unprocessed. In healing ourselves we, in turn, are healing our communities. In this way, it becomes a personal duty as well as a collective responsibility so that we can flourish not only as individuals but as strong, connected communities.

To qualify the word ‘trauma’ we need to approach it as an extremely subjective word attached to deeply personal experiences.  The term trauma simply refers to a moment or period of extreme overwhelm. Trauma tends to be associated with a massive, explicit event. However, a simple mindless phrase spoken to you when you’re in a certain state can cause an impact that resonates and stays with you.

Beyond that, how you process a traumatic event internally is what gives it the power to impact you over the long term. Some people are extremely sensitive and empathetic and will feel things very intensely. It’s important to know yourself well and the things that can trigger or protect you when facing an overwhelming circumstance. Creating a healthy mentality and mindset can go a long way in helping you deal with the things that have a lasting or profound impact on you.

In some ways, it can become easier to deal with traumatic events as we get older and gain more knowledge of our world and of ourselves. In other respects, trauma can have a stronghold on a person’s life, thus affecting multiple areas and outcomes. The first thing to consider is the value of awareness. By being aware that trauma is something that must be processed sooner or later, you can begin the path forward.

We are most affected by our experiences when we are going through vulnerable development periods – most commonly as young children and again as teenagers. Unfortunately, children aren’t as developed or aware of the things that are traumatic. For one thing, children are learning which people and environments are safe for them. When adults aren’t able to create or maintain a sense of safety for children that is when they are most vulnerable. On top of that, children are generally easily impacted and impressionable as they navigate their world. It is said that we experience most of our traumas that lead to our limiting subconscious beliefs by the age of 7, so people will often begin exploring their beliefs and the root causes of those beliefs when they are working to heal their traumas.

Simply knowing what I have mentioned above can start the journey towards healing. With that awareness you may find that you will begin to notice things that trigger you. You may find that you start questioning those triggers and why they exist. Anger is an emotion that comes out when we are triggered (so are other emotions like jealousy, frustration, and resentment), so stopping to take a sacred pause when you find yourself reacting within these emotions is a good practice to embody. It should also be noted that while healing can occur on a solo journey, we actually benefit from co-healing. We are not meant to process big things like trauma on our own, especially when that trauma is extreme, deep, or has occurred in a cycle or pattern over a period of time.

Everyone has trauma and everyone is impacted by their own traumatic experiences. How our experiences are internalized will have a direct effect on us as well as those around us, be our families, communities, nations, and as far-reaching as humanity. We are all connected in many ways and my experience necessarily impacts yours. Releasing and healing yourself could be the best gift you could ever give yourself.